Buckle your seatbelts, Chardon High; the scandal of the century is about to shake things up! In the past few weeks, rumors have been swirling around former CHS teacher and football coach, Mr. Frank Hall. His departure from our school’s staff is a sad truth that we all must accept, but should we take his reasoning without a grain of salt? Recent evidence suggests otherwise.
Mr. Hall is described by many as a living legend. His reputation is sterling and well-deserved, though his students and colleagues have admitted to knowing little about his personal life. “He has always been a fairly private person,” concedes Mr. Hewitt. “You can tell there’s a lot going on under the surface, but you never really know what.” Senior football player Roger Davis believes that this aloofness was used to hide something: “Maybe he’s moonlighting as a UFC fighter or something.” This theory, surprisingly, is not far from the truth. The Mr. Hall we all know and love has indeed been keeping a double life from us, but instead of knuckle-tape and gym shorts, he has been hiding leotards and ballet shoes.
The chief witness to this act was none other than CHS athletic director, Mr. Doug Snyder. “I was headed to Cleat’s for dinner with my family when something strange pulled my gaze towards the window of the dance studio,” he explains. That unsettling sight turned out to be Mr. Hall himself, dressed from head to toe in pink spandex. “It was a bit like a car crash,” Mr. Snyder goes on to say, “It was absolutely horrifying, but I could not look away. It was mesmerizing.” As Mr. Hall leapt and turned pirouettes, Mr. Snyder managed to snap a few incriminating photos. “No one would believe me without proof,” reasons Mr. Snyder.
The day after this bizarre encounter had taken place, Mr. Hall’s resignation came about. “I’ve been asked to coach at Lakeside,” Mr. Hall had said. “It’s always been a dream of mine to coach there.” Though Mr. Hall’s words were almost entirely sincere, Mr. Snyder spotted a cover-up. He had shown the photos to Mr. Fetchik, who admitted to a shocking truth. Mr. Hall, who had been dancing professionally under the pseudonym Vladimir Synkova for twenty years, was recently signed by the elite Russian National Ballet. “We’re sad to see him go, but we’re very proud of him for what he has accomplished,” Mr. Fetchik says with a smile. Senior football player Pat Sweeney commends Mr. Hall for his integrity: “He always told us to chase our dreams, no matter how crazy they are. Now that I know he followed his own advice, I appreciate it even more.”
Once aware that he had been caught red-handed, Mr. Hall invited a select few students to view his latest routine before shipping off to Eastern Europe in hopes that they would understand his passion for dance. After the initial shock wore off, Davis admitted that this was not too crazy after all. “He has always been light on his feet for such a big guy, and he could point his toes with the best of them—it’s crazy that no one saw this coming!”
Now that Mr. Hall fully realizes the love and support CHS is sending his way, he truly feels like this is a dream come true. “I’m sad to leave Chardon behind, but the Hilltoppers will always have a special place in my heart. I couldn’t have done this without them on my side.”